


10 Rules to Keep Straight

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-29
Updated: 2009-06-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 06:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8701471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: As far as I know, Jensen and Jared don’t have a sexual relationship although I highly recommend it. They probably would never read any slash fic about themselves. But what might happen if they do?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison
> 
> I found it in my garden. All of a sudden it was there, a little plot bunny. It started hopping around in my head and the only way to get rid of it, was write everything down.
> 
> Beta: sbear51482
> 
> Disclaimer: not mine, never happened, never will

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon in Vancouver and Jensen thought it might be a good idea to rehearse his lines for Monday. He sat on his bed with the script in his lap. Going through his lines all by himself sucked; it would be much easier if Jared were there with him. He grabbed his phone when it suddenly rang. 

 

“Hey, wanna come over?” Jared asked and Jensen visualised Jared’s broad grin on the other side of the line. Being together this long and this close had made them think-alike. 

 

“Sure, I’ll bring the script,” Jensen said.

 

“Good point. Almost forgot about it,” Jared replied ruefully.

 

A short while later Jensen sat at Jared’s kitchen table and sipped carefully from a large mug of steamy hot coffee. 

 

Jared stared intently at the screen of his laptop. “It’s the last chapter, I’m almost done. There’s some popcorn too, help yourself.”

 

“What’s so interesting?” Jensen asked with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“Fanfiction,” Jared replied dryly.

 

Jensen was surprised. “Huh, it smells like dead cat in here!” 

 

“What?” Jared had no clue what Jensen was talking about.

 

“Curiosity killed the cat, remember? You said you didn’t want to get spoiled and mix your Sam up with this stuff? What made you change your mind all of a sudden?” Jensen inquired.

 

“Hey, we have only a few more episodes to shoot and I was bored,” Jared replied.

 

“You should have called earlier and we could have done some lines instead.”

 

“Rehearsing isn’t as much fun,” Jared pouted.

 

“But fanfic apparently is?”

 

“Come on, you shouldn’t judge it before reading. There are a couple of really great stories out there, better written than some of our scripts in fact,” Jared insisted.

“Really?” Jensen shook his head.

 

He watched Jared over the rim of his mug. Jared looked flushed and a bit sweaty, although it wasn’t exactly warm in Jared’s kitchen. He wondered what Jared was reading at the moment. 

 

“So, it’s Sam and Dean and the monster of the week all over again?” Jensen wanted to know.

 

“Sometimes.”

 

Jared kept on reading silently, but then he burst out with laughter. 

 

It took Jensen a bit by surprise. Who cares about a dead cat, he thought and he snuck up behind Jared to peek. He read three lines and got it.

 

“You’re reading slash? And it’s not even Wincest, it’s about – us!” Jensen was shocked.

 

He should be appalled and leave immediately, but it’s like watching a car accident, you just stop and stare. He drew a chair to the table and sat down close to Jared.

 

“This one is really funny – and hot and it’s actually not about us,” Jared said, earning the most quizzical look from Jensen ever.

 

“Look, the characters here are just look-alikes with our names. Sometimes we, uh they are actors on the set of Supernatural, sometimes it’s an alternate universe altogether.

The character development is excellent, but the authors don’t get the details. Not one of your friends calls you ‘Jen’ for example,” Jared explained as Jensen nodded in understanding. 

 

They kept on reading.

 

“It’s quite explicit, don’t you think?” Jensen mentioned.

 

“Oh, it’s rated R. You should see the NC-17 ones,” Jared smirked.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes.

 

“What I don’t get is that it’s mostly women writing that stuff. What the fuck do women know about gay sex?” Jared mused.

 

It was well written, Jensen had to admit. It felt weird to read about himself or the story-Jensen, whatever. And it was hot. At least that’s what his southward brain in his jeans thought. By the end he really needed a fresh coke from the fridge or some ice, probably both. He rummaged through the contents of Jared’s fridge and let the cool air ghost over his blushed face until the red slowly faded. Jared leaned back in his chair with a content look on his face. 

 

“You know, I really wanted to know how I would feel while reading such stuff,” Jared declared.

 

“And?” Jensen asked, raising his left eyebrow.

 

“It’s ok. Only partly weird. Feels kinda nice,” admitted Jared.

 

If Jared had noticed how the story had affected Jensen he didn’t show it. Jared stood up, stretched his arms and his back and adjusted his jeans.

 

“Want some sandwiches?” Jared asked.

 

“Sounds good, you need some help?” Jensen offered.

 

They worked together side by side at the kitchen counter brushing ever so often against each other while passing the butter or fetching a knife. It was business as usual. It should be, but it wasn’t. It seems that reading about himself, having sex with Jared had made Jensen hypersensitive. It was like a huge magnifying glass enlarging every touch. 

 

First they ate their sandwiches in silence. 

 

“From what I’ve read so far,” Jared mused, “it’s really dangerous for us to be so close together. We’re straight, we have girlfriends, but apparently there are so many ways we could screw things up between us, in the literal sense of it. If we don’t take precautions, we will end up fucking each other over this kitchen table sooner or later.”

 

Jensen almost choked on his last bit of sandwich. The imagery was way too vivid.

 

“We need rules!” Jared was agitated. 

 

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Jensen asked when he recovered his voice. 

“We lasted more than 5 years living out of each others pockets and nothing happened.”

 

“Dude, it could happen anytime. Keep on reading and you‘ll see,” Jared was sure.

 

“First rule, don’t look at me that way,” Jared demanded. “Yes, exactly that way. Those incredible green eyes of yours and those damned long eyelashes will probably do me in. So just look the other way and I won’t look at you.”

 

Jensen pouted. “Oh, no sad puppy dog eyes for me then?”

 

“No pouting or lip licking either!” Jared persisted on adding this to rule #1.

 

Jared made a thoughtful face. “Ok, here’s rule #2: No feeling me up or straddling during fight scenes. Roger that.”

 

“Roger! How about no alcohol?” Jensen added.

 

“Definitely! So that’s rule #3: don’t get yourself piss drunk,” Jared said. “In addition to rule #3, strictly no Kahlúa in the coffee! This rule applies also to drinking games in which we collectively reveal sex fantasies or pass out in each others beds which leads us directly to rule #4: no sleep deprivation.”

 

“No kidding?” Jensen wondered. “What else?”

 

“Rule #5: don’t get yourself wounded or shot or both,” Jared said thoughtfully.

 

“Ok, I’ll remember that.”

 

“I think those writers are really inventive when it comes to getting us together somehow. Besides, sex with guys isn’t probably that bad,” Jared said with a shrug.

 

Jensen turned away and buried his face in his hands. No, he so not wanted to go there.

 

“We have to find 5 more rules,” Jared continued. “Then we have 10, like the 10 commandments.”

 

“I think we can figure them out over the next week,” Jensen replied. 

“Sure, I’ll send you a few links so you can catch up on reading.”

 

“We really should start with the script,” Jensen nudged.

 

 

***

 

 

They had an early call the next morning. Still a bit drowsy, they sat in the make-up trailer and Jensen watched Jared’s reflection in the mirror. He thought he might have dreamt about Jared last night. He couldn’t quite remember, but it had settled a nice and pleasant feeling in his stomach. Jared’s eyes were a mix of green and brown, depending on what clothes Jared wore. He liked Jared’s eyes and then Jared’s eyes glanced directly back at him through the mirror. 

 

“Stop it!” Jared insisted and Jensen felt caught in the act. “Rule #1, remember?”

 

Jensen looked away. “Ok, ok, I got it.”

 

***

 

Shooting that morning included a big fight scene between the brothers. The plot line was about a reverse love potion no. 9. First Jensen was glad that it wasn’t about a real love potion and that he didn’t have to kiss his way through the guest stars and maybe a few extras as well, let alone kissing Sam. Instead the potion filled Dean with such anger that he tries to kill everyone around him and of course Sam had to stop him before he wasted innocent people. 

 

After a little warm-up Lou, the stunt coordinator, walked them through their fight moves. It was a lot of fists and sticks and it was hard to get the right angles and synchronize their movements. They had to wait for the light department to adjust some spots and Jared quietly whispered in Jensen’s ear “Don’t forget rule #2!” 

 

Jensen was glad that the layers of Dean’s clothes nicely covered the goose bumps on his skin. “Stop whispering in my ear,” Jensen replied in a hushed voice. “Of course I remember!”

 

But it was all in vain. 

 

They bumped into each other, fell over and rolled on the floor. Jensen felt the warmth of Jared’s body and how the muscles rippled under Jared’s clothes. Jensen tried hard to keep Dean’s anger up, although he felt hot tingles every time they touched. He hated himself, because he couldn’t control his starting arousal, which resulted in exactly the look the director wanted for Dean, so this worked out fine, thank you very much. 

 

Jensen noticed that Jared had a hard time playing Sam for the simple reason that Jared was really hard. He could feel it every time they bumped into each other. Jensen thought that rule #2 was badly needed and hoped that they wouldn’t need more takes. 

 

After they finally wrapped that scene, they both needed a cold shower. 

 

***

 

The afternoon was filled with driving the Impala through different States and their mood was happy and light. They consented tacitly that more rules are desperately needed and neither of them mentioned how #2 failed that morning thoroughly. 

 

“I think we can rule out love potions and charms. How about drugs?” Jared thought aloud.

 

“I thought we can cover this with rule #3, no alcohol, no drugs. Maybe we should better watch out for not getting snowed in or lost in the woods,” Jensen suggested.

 

“And definitely no butt plugs,” Jared added with a grin. 

 

“Seriously, butt plugs?” Jensen couldn’t believe it, so Jared recapped the fic he was reading late yesterday night. Jensen had a fit of laughter with tears running down his face. “Dude, definitely no butt plugs!”

 

Instead they settled for no groping on set, at home, on the red carpet or elsewhere as rule #6.

 

***

 

The week flew by and Jensen successfully stayed away from his laptop and his mailbox with Jared’s messages containing probably more links. However he couldn’t get away from Jared quoting some passages and he couldn’t help but admit that they were quite entertaining and some were downright hilarious. 

 

They put rule #6 into operation and were eager not to interweave their personal spaces. It apparently took Jared more of an effort than Jensen, but it worked out fine. However by Thursday Jensen was half-way admitting to Jared that he really missed the occasional clap on the back, Jared’s hands on his forearm or the half-hugs around the shoulder. 

 

***

 

Friday morning in the make-up trailer, just before Tammy their new make-up girl wanted to apply the foundation on Jensen’s face, Jared leaned in close and examined Jensen’s face from three inches away. 

 

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Rule #1, remember?” Jensen drew as far back as possible in his chair.

 

Jared laughed. “I’m looking at your freckles, Ackles, not your eyes. For one thing I can’t see any stellar constellations around your nose and for another thing doing some dot-to-dot will never result in the words ‘I love you’.”

 

By this Jensen collapsed laughing and Tammy blushed pink. 

 

Jared grabbed Tammy’s arm and drew her near. “Go, have a look at them. Do you think they are so cute you wanna each give them names?” 

 

Tammy turned beet-red, let her brush fall to the ground, her jaw dropped and she stared at Jensen. Then Jared‘s brain finally kicked in and Jared realized, that Tammy obviously had a bad crush on Jensen, who had found out about it weeks before. Jensen picked up the brush and suggested that Tammy should start with Jared first. Tammy looked relieved.

 

***

 

They had the weekend off, so Jared and Jensen hit a bar that Friday night. They drank a few beers in a dimly lit booth and talked about music and sports. Then they switched to Hollywood and what they might do after the show’s finale. There was not nearly as much beer and shots involved as usual because both remembered rule #3. On the other hand they completely forgot about skipping lunch and the two sandwiches earlier failed soaking up all the alcohol. They were pretty boozed up when Jared started talking about his girlfriend and about the vows they had. Jensen chimed in and they had a thorough heart-to-heart about their relationships and girlfriends and women in general. They decided that they really should make it up to them, but definitely not tonight. They left it to their bodyguard to get them home and into separate beds. 

 

***

 

Saturday arrived with walking Jared’s dogs, lots of work-out and shopping. The afternoon brought more rain clouds from the bay and when the rain set in, they decided to watch some basketball game on TV and Jared complained about his sour muscles once in a while. Jensen took pity on Jared and ushered him to sit in front of him on the floor. When Jensen’s fingers searched for the rim of Jared’s shirt it dawned on Jensen that this might be a very bad idea. He pulled Jared’s shirt off and placed his hands on each side of Jared’s neck. Slowly he made strong little circles with his fingertips to loosen the knots in Jared’s trapezius. Jensen worked his way gradually down along Jared’s spine, but when he came to the small of Jared’s back he earned little moans perfectly in sync with the moves of his fingers. 

 

“Jared, please, stop it,” Jensen begged. Though, as a matter of fact, he didn’t want Jared to stop and he wanted his hands to be forever on Jared’s hot skin. He had to bail out and fast. He jumped to his feet and made a run for the bathroom. 

 

Jared was disappointed. Jensen’s massage had felt really good, perhaps too good. He tiptoed to the bathroom and was surprised that Jensen had left the door ajar. He sunk back into the shadows and just watched. Jensen stood at the sink and splashed cold water on his face. Jared could see the mirror image of Jensen’s unbelievable green eyes. They were like clear ponds that he wanted to plunge right into. Water drops ran down Jensen’s cheeks and gathered at his chin before falling. Jensen traced his upper lip with the tip of his tongue and searched for more beads of water. Jared watched in fascination. He had never acknowledged how perfect and beautiful Jensen’s lips were and how right all the slash girls were who called them cock sucking lips.

 

Jensen opened the fly of his jeans and looked resigned at the bulge in his boxers, before turning to the toilette. 

 

Jared braced himself and walked back to the kitchen. Spying on his co-stars assets was damned not right. He got two beers from the fridge and sat one on the table. When Jensen came back, neither of them could look the other in they eye. Jensen took his beer from the counter and gulped down half of it. 

 

“Rule #7: no massages,” Jensen breathed dejectedly. Jared nodded.

 

“Don’t leave your door ajar, this is rule #8,” Jared added guiltily. 

 

 

***

 

 

Another Sunday afternoon and Jensen joined Jared on his kitchen bench. Jared’s laptop sat in front of them and they both enjoyed watching some family photos Jared’s brother had sent. They made some popcorn and Jared showed Jensen a weird fanfic he found only that very morning.

 

“Look, it’s called ‘10 rules to keep straight’ and it’s actually about us making those damned rules,” Jared explained.

 

Jensen started to read and thought that it was really weird. He was sitting at Jared’s kitchen table and read that he sat at Jared’s kitchen table reading a fanfic. His head was on a merry-go-round and he felt dizzy. “It’s like the washing salon scene all over again,” Jensen said. “How does it end, who is the monster at the end of the book?” he asked.

 

“Don’t know,” Jared shrugged. “TBC - to be continued. The story ends with rule #6.” 

 

“It looks like those are mostly the same rules that we already laid down,” Jensen observed while scanning the text. “However in this story I actually read your recommended fanfics,” Jensen added. “I haven’t even opened my mailbox since last weekend,” he confessed.

 

“That’s too bad, but I’ll show you one I found late last night after you were gone and it’s definitely hot. I saved the second chapter for later, so we can find out together how it ends.”

 

Jensen had a bad feeling about this. He just knew how it would affect him and that this might turn out pretty awkward. Against his better judgement he stayed sitting next to Jared. They read in silence. Once in a while Jensen noticed Jared stealing a glance at him and he could feel his face turning from pale to a light pink. He heard Jared’s breath slowly picking up speed. Sometimes they had to smile about some twisted facts, like Jensen eating pickles although he didn’t like them for real or Jared listening to some whiny pop song on his iPod instead of guitar riffs and licks. 

 

At the beginning of chapter 2 story-Jared and story-Jensen kissed and Jared and Jensen suddenly found it very hard to breath in front of the tiny screen. Two paragraphs down Jensen took Jared’s hand for a closer look. “Do you think you can really handle us both with just one hand?” 

 

“Guess we have to try to find out,” Jared answered seductively. 

 

“You must be kidding,” Jensen let go of Jared’s hand. 

 

It was almost dark when they finished reading. The air was charged and neither of them moved, their muscles tense.

 

“I guess that’s rule #9: never read fan fiction about yourself.”

 

It was too dark for Jensen to make out Jared’s expression, but then he felt Jared’s hand on his thigh. 

 

He heard Jared’s rough voice near his right temple. “You’re hot.” 

 

Jensen didn’t know if it was a statement or a question. 

 

Jared’s hand felt so damned good and he wanted Jared to move closer; to slide right to the middle. Jensen didn’t know what to say so he just slipped his own hand into Jared’s lap and let his fingers enclose the bulge in Jared’s jeans. Jared softly moaned and cupped his hand over Jensen’s crotch too. Involuntarily a gasp wretched Jensen’s chest.

 

“We’re so screwed,” Jensen huskily whispered. 

 

“No, actually not yet,” Jared smiled under his breath,

 

“I think rule #10 should be …,” Jensen’s voice trailed off when Jared started with light and gentle strokes over his hard-on. 

 

“To hell with the rules!” Jared half-way stood up and straddled the bench. He found Jensen’s hip and drew him close. Jensen swung his leg over the bench and slid down on Jared’s lap. 

 

Jared leaned forward and their lips met. For six long heartbeats the earth stood still. The touch of their lips was soft and warm and perfect. Jared broke the kiss only to draw Jensen nearer and close in. He teased and licked Jensen’s lips, pushed his tongue forward and finally Jensen kissed him back. Shaken by desire there was no time for gentle touches. They kissed desperately, like this moment was all they would ever get. Once Jensen got started there was no way back. He grinded and thrust his erection against Jared’s. He picked up a rhythm when he found the right friction and felt Jared’s hips buckle up in response. Jensen’s hand was in Jared’s hair tugging gently on the strands and Jared tilted his head back to offer Jensen the length of his neck for more licking and kissing. 

 

They slipped off their shirts, finally exposing bare skin. Jensen pulled Jared close and melted their bodies together. Jared’s eyes fluttered shut. Touching Jared’s hot skin and perfect muscles was all Jensen ever wanted and it was like touching sin. With this Jensen’s brain stopped working and it was fine by him. He was rolled over by pure lust.

 

“I – want – you – so – much,” Jared panted in Jensen’s ear which was the last coherent thing Jared’s mind processed before he reached his climax. They came together in their pants like 15 year old boys after thumbing through some filthy magazines. 

 

Slumped upon each other they held their embrace for long minutes until their harsh panting subsided and their heartbeats levelled out to normal.

 

“Now, we’re really screwed,” Jensen declared with a grin and kissed Jared very softly on the lips. 

 

“Yeah, but if you obey all of the rules, you’ll miss all the fun,” Jared whispered and kissed him back.


End file.
